Sunday, 18 March 2012

Can one film change your life?

"You don't have a favourite film?!" is a phrase which I am, not too infrequently, accosted with. And I understand the confusion, it is a tad unusual not to at least have a short list.

I do not have a favourite film. Or a favourite book. I don't have a favourite place or a favourite type of cake. There is nothing in this world which I value to the exclusion of all else in its category (except my parter, perhaps I do value him to the exclusion of the interests of other males).

I may prefer a certain dish, or a certain genre of television, but it doesn't obscure the other options. I don't tend to fall into those obsessive tendencies in which people begin to watch films multiple times, read books repeatedly, join societies on the afore decided topic or generally 'get hooked' on a subject.

Now this seems to shock people! This does not mean I do not feel passionate about things. It doesn't mean I don't appreciate, want for and strive toward owning, participating in, or indeed watching or eating things. It simply means I cannot answer those overly simplified 'favourites' questions.

Perhaps I have not witnessed enough, smelled enough, met enough, wandered through and generally lived enough to find my favourites. Perhaps you pity me.

But I revel in this uncertainty of favouritism.

I wait with grand anticipation to finally find things which causes me to metaphorically 'melt'. I feel I have lived a relatively great deal and know that when I finally decide upon my favourite it will be more than worth the wait.

And on this topic I come to describe my day yesterday. Yesterday I cried for 3 hours. I was inexplicably, uncontrollably happy. Or was I sad? I am tearing up again at the mere memory of my emotions yesterday evening. I have yet to decide how I feel.

What caused me to be so insurmountably ecstatic and, unusually, uncertain of my sense of self? A film. One, small film.

One film which, for some reason or other, struck a monumental chord within myself. It has rearranged my beliefs and opinions in the space of 90 minutes.

I do not believe for a second the film caused me to think these things. I do however believe it helped me realise ambitions which had hitherto been repressed by my sense of propriety, of society, of fear. Readjusted is my sense of perspective. A small ripple has been created in a pond, a ripple which will grow to the push I required to do with my life what I genuinely wish.

I shall not delve into my past and future life plans, they are neither of your interest nor concern. What is of interest to you is what small experiences can effect on your entire future.

Can one film change your life? I believe it can.

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