Part three in the 'Love Your Blog' series inspired by A Playful Day.
It took me a very long time to decide what to write about for the A Playful Day challenge this week. The prompt is 'ugly'. Should I take a photo of all of those WIPs I don't like anymore and will never finish? Of that horrible pink acrylic yarn I was hell-bent on collecting when I first started knitting? Or the knitting projects I have properly messed up and are now sitting in a depressing pile of pretty-but-ruined yarn behind the sofa.
We all struggle to see past our mistakes, past the flaws which make us doubt ourselves, our goals and the things which we create. What we know, yet consistently forget, is that the flaws which bother us are mainly noticeable only to ourselves.
In the end, I took a good look at myself, and a photo without any make-up on (super close-up).
I'm tired. You can tell by the little bruises under my eyes. I try to do too many things. My skin is dry, I don't look after it. My cheeks are getting a little chubby, because I make no effort with my diet. It's late, because I start ten things at a time and so never concentrate on any properly or finish any of them.
A lot of us look at ourselves this way. Critically. With no kindness or forgiving. With no trace of compassion for ourselves. Would you judge another so harshly? Is this what you think they think of you?
I couldn't take a picture of those 'ugly' skeins of pink aran acrylic, because when I really sit down to think about it, they're not ugly at all, they're just not what I want to knit my next shawl with. Bright pink aran owls, anyone? I'm sure there are many fans of obscenely pink yarn, and who am I to say it's ugly.
I couldn't take a photo of the WIPs I don't like and will never finish. They remind me of choices I've made - good choices at the time - which turned out not to work so well. All twists & turns, tangled knots, repeats knit wrongly, ripped out three times before being discarded. Reviewed by friends & family along the way. Yarn which, after enjoying the idea of how it was created, just didn't feel nice. Patterns which did not go well with the yarn, which looked like they would match together but simply did not work in the end. The love of a pattern which would never have looked good on you in the first place. A gross parody of life in a wicker basket.
The pretty-but-ruined yarn behind the sofa isn't ruined, I've just not figured out how to save it yet.
There is no ugly. There is only a perception - an opinion. There is an outlook on life which is not fixed, and need not be dictated by others. You can choose what kind of day you have, what kind of outlook you will have on it and what you will do with the outcome of your day. There is always something to learn even from the worst of situations.
I'm tired, my skin is dry, I can't cook, I try to do to many things at once. And there's a smile on my face, because I'm happy this way.
You can find one thing you thought was ruined or too difficult, whether it be in life or crafting, and you can have a wee optimistic think about it. It's not as ugly as it seems.